Hey, I’m Ryan.
I’m a husband, a father, a truck driver, and a guy in recovery. Almost 10 years ago I was drinking myself to death and hiding a crack relapse from my family. Today, however, I have a career, a home, and a family that’s stronger than ever.
Addicts Rebellion is the site I wish I’d had when I was still in it.
My Story
Growing Up
Growing up, from the outside we looked like a normal, tight-knit family. Mom, Dad and us three boys. But behind closed doors, things weren’t always easy — my parents fought, and when it got bad they would split. Every time they reunited, we’d move. As a result, I was always starting over: new neighbourhood, new school, no friends.
When I was 10, my older brother started getting more physical with me. From then on, I learned to live in fear.
At 14 he offered me a joint in the backyard shed. I remember the feeling like melting candle wax. I was hooked from that first hit.
By 15 I’d left home for a youth transition centre. At 16 I aged out and ended up sleeping in an abandoned tractor trailer in winter. That’s where I got into Gravol — at its worst, 40 pills at a time, tripping for days, talking to people and seeing things that weren’t there.
First Rock Bottom
Eventually, my first rock bottom got me into Westover Treatment Centre. Three weeks, my first taste of the 12 steps. It was relatable — I was raised Catholic — and I stayed clean for a while. But after a while, things at home with my brother were getting worse. Everyone thought I was using even when I wasn’t, so finally I figured I might as well do the thing they already thought I was doing. I relapsed, started slipping in school, and fell right back into the old me from before Westover.
The next years were couch surfing, partying, hard drugs and trouble. Then I moved to Fort McMurray for a fresh start, where I reconnected with Tanya — my now-wife. We built a life, had kids, got married. After Tanya moved up north with me, the drugs stopped — but the drinking started. And it escalated rather quickly. Within five years it was several beers and a bottle of hard liquor every night.
The Night Everything Changed
In May 2016 Fort McMurray was evacuated for wildfires. My wife was frantically packing essentials for our kids and herself. Me? I packed three pairs of boxers and as many beers as I could carry. That tells you everything about where I was.
In Calgary I crossed a line I’d sworn I never would — bought crack, got high alone while my kids slept upstairs. Then I did it again the next weekend with our last dollars. That night something clicked. I wrote Tanya a note, locked myself in the basement, and told her everything. I expected her to leave. Instead, she got on the phone and found me help. That night I was in hospital on suicide watch. By morning I was headed to detox.
Getting Clean
Then came Claresholm — three months, science-based, structured. The hardest thing I’ve ever done. I graduated in January 2017.
Almost 10 years later: I’m happy, employed, a homeowner, and my family is stronger than ever. Not a day goes by that I forget what I learned there.
Want the full version? Read my complete story here.
Why This Site Exists
I built this for people like me — those in recovery, those still struggling, and those who love someone in the fight. It’s not about having the answers. Instead, it’s about truth, connection, and reminding each other we’re not alone.
For years I carried shame. Now, however, I know that sharing my story might help someone else find their way out.
This isn’t just a website. It’s a rebellion against addiction.
What You’ll Find Here
- Honest articles about recovery, relapse, and rebuilding
- Resources — crisis lines, recovery programs, and tools I’ve vetted personally
- A real person — if you’re going through it and need to talk to someone who gets it, reach out